he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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