no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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