chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
