He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
40s are totally the cure
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
