Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
