Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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