You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
