He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
