It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
