what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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