grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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