to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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