There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
