oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
