You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
