Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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