he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
