i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
