Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
