Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
