I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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