Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Found the puke drawer
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Randomize
