our cab driver is having phone sex.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
