Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
