I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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