dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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