i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
