Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
