He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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