Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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