I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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