Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
