last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
