i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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