I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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