I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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