please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So many bounce houses so little time
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
