I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
