she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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