sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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