I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
