I hate your face
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
