I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i came on her dog
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
