Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
