there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
its liver damage thursday
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
