You work out of a Hotel?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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