Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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