try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
