Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
