are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is it because I queefed?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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