I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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