yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
