i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
