He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
