Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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