sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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