She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
