please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
