i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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