I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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