It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
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Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize