Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
