Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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